“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

– William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

These words from Shakespeare reflect the idea that a name doesn’t change the essence of a thing. As a humble brewer, I won’t pretend to be a literary scholar (though I do own a dusty copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare), but I do know a thing or two about beer.

Beer is one of the oldest manufactured beverages in human history, with origins stretching back over 7,000 years—possibly earlier, depending on how you define early fermented grain beverages. It’s enjoyed all over the world, and unsurprisingly, goes by many names. But no matter what we call it; it remains that same wonderful nectar of the gods.

So, what is beer?

At its core, beer is any fermented alcoholic beverage in which the majority of the fermentable sugars come from cereal grains. That’s it. It’s not fermented hops. It’s not distilled yeast. (Yes, I’ve heard some… inventive definitions.)

What are cereal grains?

Glad you asked. They include:

• Barley (the most common in brewing)
• Wheat
• Maize (corn)
• Rye
• Rice
• Oats
• Sorghum
• Millet
• Spelt
• Teff

Some grains work better than others for brewing, and brewers often blend them to produce specific flavours, textures, or fermentability profiles.

The role of hops (and other additions)

The most common flavouring addition to beer is hops, which provide bitterness, aroma, and help preserve the beer. But long before hops became standard, brewers used a range of herbs and spices: mugwort, heather, yarrow, sage, juniper berries, orange peel, and more. Many of these are still used today in experimental and traditional brews. The brewing world is nothing if not inclusive.

Where does the word “beer” come from?

The English word beer traces back to Old English beor, a term for a fermented beverage. It may have been borrowed from West Germanic languages—possibly from bior or bier. Some etymologists suggest a deeper root in the Celtic bibere (from Latin), meaning “to drink,” which also gives us the modern English word imbibe. Given that the Celts are known for enjoying a wee libation, I’d say that the Celtic origin of the word is strong.

Is sake beer?

Sort of! Since sake is made by fermenting sugars derived from a cereal grain (rice), it technically fits the broad definition of beer. But culturally and legally, it’s often treated as a unique category—neither beer nor wine.

Interestingly, “sake” in Japanese just means alcohol in general. What English speakers call “sake” is more accurately known as nihonshu (“Japanese alcohol”). The Japanese word for traditional Western-style beer is biru, borrowed from the Dutch bier (Japan had trade links with the Dutch during the Edo period). Japanese tends to add a vowel to imported words, due to syllabic constraints in the language.

Similarly, in Mandarin Chinese, beer is píjiǔ (啤酒):

pí = phonetic borrowing from “beer”

jiǔ = “alcohol”

Etymology on the rocks

While researching, I stumbled across more spirited etymologies:

Schnaps (or Schnapps in English spelling): A strong German spirit, traditionally distilled from fruit or grain. The word comes from Low German snappen— “to snatch” or “to snap,” especially in the context of taking a quick drink. It can also refer to a small serving, like a “tot.” In German, it’s spelled Schnaps (one “p”); the English version often has two.

Dram: Originally a unit of weight in the apothecaries’ system (~1/16 of an ounce), the term was adopted for small measures of alcohol, especially whisky. It shares etymological roots with drachma (Greek) and dirham (Arabic)—ancient currencies.

Whisky vs. Whiskey

Both spellings refer to a distilled spirit made from grain mash and aged in barrels. The difference?

Whiskey: Ireland, United States

Whisky: Scotland, Canada, Japan

A helpful trick: if the country has an “e” in its name (Ireland, United States), it likely uses “whiskey.” If not (Scotland, Canada, Japan), it’s “whisky.”

As for me, being 1/16th Irish, I tend to lean toward the version with an “e.”

A lexicon of the inebriated

Knowing the origins of words like beer and whisky is fun, but what about the words we use to describe their effects?

Two German linguists from Chemnitz University catalogued over 500 English synonyms for being drunk. Here are a few gems:

• Legless
• Smashed
• Wasted
• Blitzed
• Lashed
• Tight
• Paralytic
• Sozzled
• Inebriated
• Blottoed
• Obfuscated
• Insobrietous
• Adrian Quist (Cockney rhyming slang for “pissed”)
• Ossified (“turned to stone”!)
• Pifflicated
• “How-come-you-so” (as in, “Dorothy’s drunk again—she’s a bit how-come-you-so.”)
• “Acknowledged the corn”
• “Drunk as a boiled owl”
• “Tired and emotional”

This list is by no means complete—feel free to share your favourite clean slang terms in the comments!

Boozy Words of Wisdom

To close, here’s a bit of classic absurdity from Monty Python, via The Philosopher’s Drinking Song:

Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table

David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just a shloshed as Schlegal

There’s nothing Nietzche couldn’t teach ya ‘bout the raising of the wrist

Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, on a half a pint of shandy was particularly ill

Plato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey every day!

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle

Hobbes was fond of his dram

And René Descarte was a drunken fart: “I drink therefore I am”

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed; a lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he’s pissed!

Special thanks to the YouTube channel Words Unravelled, hosted by Rob Watts and Jess Zafarris, for the inspiration and etymological deep dives. If you’re a fan of language, I highly recommend giving them a watch.